How to Avoid Yelling at Your Children – Even When You’re Really Upset

September 11th, 2013by admin

Temper tantrumWhen your child is misbehaving it can become very difficult to keep yourself from losing it and yelling back at him. You know that you have to stay calm in the situation, but at the same time you are definitely being tested by your child.

Recent research study by the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Education and of Psychology shown that yelling at children harms their confidence and negatively affects their social skills. As a parent, you have to do everything possible to avid yelling at your child. Here are some of the best ways to stay focused to handle the situation before it has a chance to get completely out of control.

Take a moment to relax

When you feel like your blood is about to boil over and you’re going to start yelling at your child, take a dedicated moment to just breathe in and out and relax. Tell yourself that you can handle this and won’t resort to yelling. Just like children need a time out sometimes, parents do too and even taking a few seconds to regroup may be all that’s necessary to keep things calm and quiet.

Try to get a better understanding of your child

Read some books about children and learn exactly what you should be expecting of your child during each development stage. During the 2 – 3 -year-old age range you can expect to see some temper tantrums. Instead of fighting them head on take a moment to reflect on how lucky you actually are to have a 2 year old child that does have temper tantrums. If he didn’t have these types of tantrums, there would likely be something wrong with him. You probably know of parents that have children with disabilities that would love to have a normal 2 year old and the temper tantrums that go along with them.

Your child is good – the behavior isn’t

Remember that there’s a big difference between who your child actually is and the behavior that they are exhibiting. No matter what stage of the game you are at – from temper tantrums all the way up to teenage power fights, your child is ultimately good. Do your best to keep the behavior and the child separated in your mind so that you can enjoy the special times you have with him when he’s exhibiting exemplary behavior without resenting him for the times when he hasn’t been at his best.

Your child is human, after all

Just like everybody else on this planet, your child is going to have good points, bad points and faults to deal with. It’s all about being human and the more you recognize this the easier it will be to avoid yelling. A little bit of understanding can go a long way especially when you consider all the faults you may have that your child has to live with as well.


Author Bio:  Anna Kaminsky is a recent graduate from the Psychology department at the University of Toronto. She is working as an intern at Richmond Hill Psychology Center assisting with psychological and psycho-educational assessments. Anna loves working with children and plans to continue her studies to become a child psychologist.



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