Children Are Not Just Small Versions of the Parents

January 3rd, 2010by admin

Two musically gifted parents can produce a child that can’t “carry a tune in a bucket.” Two artistically inclined people can conceive a child that can’t draw a straight line with a ruler.

Children are not just small versions of their parents. Children are individuals, and parents who insist on forcing their own likes, dislikes, interests, and abilities on their children are making a huge mistake. They are robbing the child by denying him the room to grow into who he really is, and they are robbing themselves of making that amazing journey with their child.

The pressure applied by parents on their children to become younger versions of themselves begins early on. The grandmother says that the child’s daddy could sit alone by the time he was four months old, so the child’s parents being pressuring the child to live up to that standard — and it never stops for some children.

If Dad was good at football, then there must be something wrong with his SON if he isn’t good at football. If Mom was a cheerleader in high school, then her DAUGHTER is pushed from early childhood to becoming a high school cheerleader.

Just because Dad went to Harvard doesn’t mean that Junior should go to Harvard. Just because Mom is a great cook doesn’t mean that her daughter needs to even learn how to cook.

Parents and children both lose when the parents try to make their children into smaller and younger versions of themselves. It’s so much better for the child to be given the space and the opportunity to develop into the adult that they were born to be. It’s more interesting and more rewarding for the parents as well.

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