Parents often believe that their way of raise their children is the best and might feel offended if someone else tries to interfere by giving advices. Some of use even have a hard time taking advices from their parents, who have more experience in raising children. But is your method of raising children correctly? Will they be fulfilled and complete adults? Hopefully they will, but when people approach you with advice regarding your child or parenting skills, you should think about the reason and not feel offended.
Parents are involved and too subjective
When it comes to their offspring, parents may be subjective, not wanting to admit that there is a problem or not willing to apply the right correction. And by that I do not refer to any aggression towards the child but by taking the right attitude and approach regarding a misbehavior or issue. All parents want the best for their children and find it hard to apply a punishment, but you must find the strength to do it, especially if another person points out that your child is not having an appropriate behavior. Most often, parents will state that their child is independent, has a lot of energy or has a strong personality in an attempt to find excuses for a behavior that is encouraged to be different. It is great to encourage your child to do and achieve things, but you should also listen to opinions especially if they state something regarding the way your child is acting. From the outside, with objective eye, the problems can be more easily identified, as parents may learn to live with a child that is misbehaving.
It is impossible to know it all
In the case you are a parent for the first time, it is impossible to know everything about raising a child and how to react to the situations that come up down the road. So advices coming from someone else, more experienced, can be more than welcoming. Being a parent is a great gift, but also a great adventure, as every child is unique in his way. Don’t be afraid to share opinions and experiences with other parents at the playground. Discuss with your parents and friends who have older children about the issue you encounter. As a parent, you may be filled with good intention, but sometimes the lack of experience will make things not too pleasant.
Keep in mind that the person that come us with advice might have encountered the same type of problem in the case of his or her child. And noticing the same thing is happening to you, that person will be more than willing to share her findings and experiences. So you’d better listen to what that person has to say, before deciding if the advice is bad or not. The information that you will find out might be of great use.
Sometime we need specialized help
There might be a situation when raising your child or managing his behavior can get out of your hand. It is not the fact that you are a bad parent, but some people do have issues with their children. Either they were too permissive, either the problem hides other causes, like ADHD. In the cases when the behavior becomes a problem, due to circumstances or medical condition, our children need the help of a specialist. So you will need to receive the parenting tips coming from these persons, as they mean only to help you solve the problem and help your child grow up harmoniously.
It is not wrong, nor does it make you a bad parent if you ask for support in the cases you feel you cannot control your child any more, or you have troubles raising him. As I said before, it is impossible to know it all, and in some situations the causes do not depend entirely on us. Usually, a parent starts having problems with his child because, by thinking he is doing the child an enormous favor and offering the life he wants, he actually did more harm by not asserting a set of rules. When the child is very young, the problems are not significant and often pass by unnoticed. But as the child grows, they will become more apparent and can even become bothering, affecting the parent-child relationship.
Dealing with the acceptance of an exterior parenting tip
You are the parent, and you are entitled to make all the decisions regarding your child. But the people who come to you with parenting advices are not doing it out of a mean intention. It is true that some are more polite in expressing their opinions, and some tend to be rather invasive. But the general idea is to help you out. Don’t take it personally, because no one wants to interfere with your parenting skills. It is a natural behavior between parents, since they enjoy talking about their kids, good and bad. Thus, try to embrace this aspect like an innocent way of sharing experience between parents. Because who knows, maybe one day you will need a useful tip.
So you see, receiving parenting tips from someone else is not a bad thing, nor does it make you an irresponsible parent. Humans, as social beings, will try to learn from each other, based on experience and knowledge. And this applies in the case of parenting as well. You cannot isolate your child from the rest of the society and raise him after your sole rules. He needs to be out in the world, explore and experience. So inevitably, he will be subjected to the opinions of the people that surround us. But regard every advice like a piece of information with a useful potential. Being a parent is not easy all the time, so finding someone willing enough to share some of this experience can really be helpful sometimes.
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