Baby fever has hit you. Or maybe it has hit your partner. Either way, it seems that “having babies” is up for discussion a lot more than it used to be. But how do you know when you’re ready? How do you know when the right time is? And how do you know your partner is ready?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to make sure that you are emotionally ready to have a child.
What Are My Reasons?
It always comes back to the big “why” of things, doesn’t it? So, why do you want to have a baby? If your answers include grief, loss or feeling lonely, maybe it’s a better time in your life to get a pet. Other answers that might come up include: because it seems that everyone around you is having a baby; because you’d like your parents to enjoy the joy of grandparenthood; because you’ve reached that age, and it feels like it’s now or never; because this might save your marriage; because you don’t feel fulfilled in your career.
There is a better question to ask ourselves, though, and that question will help us determine whether or not we’re as ready as we hope: Am I in a “good place” right now?
The right place for you is subjective. Maybe the “right place” means having a secure career, or being very happy in your relationship with your partner, or finally achieving the financial security you had hoped for. Being very happy makes for a “great” time to have children, because it is easier to prepare yourself and your partner when you are in a “good” place.
Another thing to consider is whether or not you feel capable of making the sacrifices that parenthood brings. Can you trade in your independence for a life of having someone dependent on you? Are you ready to kiss those spontaneous dinners goodbye? Are you ready to be able to provide a stable and calm surrounding? And when you’re done asking yourself these questions, you have to turn to your partner to see if the answers match yours.
Is My Partner Ready?
Sometimes, one member of a couple will be ready before another is. That’s totally normal. It’s important, then, to sit down with your partner and express how you’re feeling, and do so calmly. It is important to give them some time to think about it before you push the subject. And it is imperative to respect the answers that your partner gives you, as it might really effect your final decision, as well.
But let’s say that your partner is ecstatic, and wants to forge ahead with this great adventure as your co-pilot. That’s great news! Make sure that your partner is also doing it for the right reasons, too, so that you have an equal partner in this big undertaking. If you don’t feel as though your partner is truly ready, take some time to explore those reasons together before you begin trying.
Should We Wait?
Timing should be discussed before throwing your method of birth control in the trash, though. Although you’ve come together and realized that you want to be parents (congratulations, by the way!), there might be reasons for you to hold off just a little bit longer.
Maybe a big project at work has come up and it would be easier to wait until afterwards to get pregnant. Maybe your job is not as secure as you would want it and you’d rather wait just a little bit longer. If you feel as though there is a reason to wait, maybe you’re not as ready as you thought you were – and there’s nothing wrong with that!
Timing is everything. Ultimately, you decide when the best time to have a baby is, and as long as you do it for all of the right reasons and everybody is in agreement, then you will make that choice when it is best for you and those involved.
This guest post was written by proud dad Luciano. He’s a full time dad blogger at http://www.dadswonder.com/ where he offers parenting advice and more.
Photo: https://flic.kr/p/cukeaYFiled under Parenting Advice | Comment (0)