They are known as the “Terrible Twos” but just what is it? The “Terrible Twos” is a catchy phrase for Children Behavior Problems which we, as parents, are sometimes blind to it all or unwilling to accept the fact that “our” child has behavioral issues at such a young age. As such every parent should understand the following 4 facts to effectively deal with their child’s behavioral issues known as the “Terrible Twos”.
1. A Child’s Behavior Is Stimulated & Driven By EMOTION As Opposed To Reason Or Logic
Think about it, whether you are 2 or 52 your behavior is directly related to your emotional state of mind or being. Everyone reacts to their emotions and then afterwards justifies their reaction using logic or reason. However small children have yet to develop the ability to use reason or logic, so for them, they act solely from emotion. This is a fundamental concept in helping you to understand your two-year-old’s behavior so store this in your brain for when the next “Terrible Twos” eruption occurs. This concept is probably the most important one to grasp and understand when dealing with small children behavioral issues.
2. When Talking To Your Child, Think About How Often The Term “NO” Is Used
“No means NO”, we’ve all heard this adage before but not in the context of speaking with a child. If/When you overuse the term “NO” with a child it eventually takes on the meaning of “time to stop listening” with your child. This becomes a root cause for behavioral issues to develop in young children. You must realize that using “negative language” has the opposite effect on small children. The terms: No, Stop, Don’t, are simple examples of “negative language”.
Obviously you need to focus on positive language use when speaking with your child to get the desired result of which you want. For example: Rather than say/scream/shout “Stop Screaming!!” calmly address your child by saying, “Show mommy (daddy) how softly you can speak now” and notice the resulting behavior. So use positive language skills and/or strategies when communicating with your young child.
3. Toddlers Are Emotionally Driven, So Use An Emotional Connection To Influence Them
It is important to develop a rapport with your child by putting yourself into their shoes or world so to speak. More often than naught your child is in his or her own little world and appear to not be paying attention to you when you want them to do a specific task. It’s not that they are ignoring you but they may be entranced or pre-occupied with the TV for example. In order to penetrate their mind and get their attention you must first establish a rapport with them and you do so by first asking them questions about the show they are watching. As they respond to your questions, you have broken into their world gracefully and they are now more likely to give you the attention you are wanting at that time. Continue building rapport with your child as it will help you from becoming frustrated with your child. Remember that RAPPORT is nothing more than simply having an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with your child.
4. Spend Time Talking With Your Child
Time = Attention = Love, and what child doesn’t want attention and love? Speaking with your child using positive language while gracefully entering his/her world is how you give him/her the attention and love they crave while influencing their behavior at the same time. In spending time talking to your child you are developing a family dynamic with them in which you can “coach” or train them how to behave in a manner in which you would like to see them develop and behave.
The “Terrible Twos” will never disappear however, understanding and utilizing these 4 concepts will help you cope with them. Above all else, BE PATIENT – remember to look at situations from THEIR point of view.
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