by Lauralee Moss
During both of my pregnancies, I had weird things happen to my body, every day. All women do, but in talking with so many of them, symptoms and problems vary. I can only guess the medical reasons behind these, but here are my weird pregnancy ailments, hopefully to bring comfort through laughter to other pregnant ladies.
1. Dizzy on the elevator.
And of course, my doctor’s office required an elevator ride. I am not claustrophobic and elevators normally don’t bother me in any way. But for every doctor’s trip, I grabbed onto the railing in the elevator, closed my eyes, and tried to ignore the “I’m seasick” feeling.
2. Fire feet.
This happened at such random times that I was unable to pinpoint a reason. I would wake up some nights, or be walking, or be sitting and my feet would become hot. They were never red, and I never saw anything wrong with them. They would turn to fire instantly, and then become normal again just as quickly.
3. Long to thin nails overnight.
Some days I would look at my nails with pride. Curvy, long, sexy–if I was fat and pregnant, at least my nails were nice. The next day, they would break or be so thin that I had to cut them. It made me sad.
4. Creaky hips.
I’m sure this was from expansion of my belly. When I would walk or sway, I could hear my hips. The movement of one’s joints should normally be silent. I remember crying about this; I felt so grandmotherly.
5. Hollow nose.
When I would breathe, especially in the morning, it felt like air was rubbing directly against my nostrils, and it hurt. Maybe because most of the fluid in my body was suspended elsewhere, my nose struggled to make snot.
6. Random hand twitches.
I taught high school students during both pregnancies, and my students loved to ask me questions. “Will it hurt? Are you scared? Will you cry?” (and again, from the girls, “Will it hurt??”) I also got this: “Why did your hand start twitching like that?” Why? Well, I have no idea.
7. Dry eyes.
There I would be–looking at something and my eyes would be filled with goo. I never had anything in them, but my eyes would suddenly be so dry I could not see very well. No eye drops worked, so I just had to wait this one out.
8. Oily hair.
This problem was easy enough to fix with equal parts of vinegar and water. Then again, the vinegar smell every shower made me vomit.
9. Creased feet and hands.
This was probably connected to the swelling, but sometimes I question that because my swelling really wasn’t that bad. Again, at seemingly random times, my skin would be so tight that when I walked or used my hands, the creases felt like knives were slicing into them.
10. Itchy hands.
My extremities caused me much grief during my pregnancies. For example, my palms and fingertips would itch night and day. I would scratch my fingertips with my thumbnails so much that the pads were eventually pink. Even worse, I couldn’t scratch my palms without giggling. I feared I may tickle myself to death. My doctor told me to avoid steroids–which includes hydrocortisone–so I tried all sorts of normal lotions instead. No matter, my hands itched for 9 straight months.
So there you have it: nine months of nearly non-stop physical weirdness. Now you know that you’re not alone if you too are pulling your hair out from any of these. I felt your pain!
Lauralee Moss, a parent, teacher, and researcher, writes about parenting and educational issues. Her web address is www.redroom.com/member/LauraleeMoss.