The topic has been debated over and over. Many schools of thought exist on the matter – what’s the best way to prepare your child for school? What is the best strategy for ensuring your child is an achiever (mind you: not an overachiever, nor a blatantly gifted underachiever, but one who will fully realize their potential?). Many argue in favor of appreciating your child’s every effort, irrespective of its actual, objective value. Others insist that this is a very wrong way to go about, as it will only promote a sense of entitlement in the child. Where is the truth? What is the best solution for making sure that your child does the best they can? Here are some useful, tested and true, tips and pointers.
What you need to bear in mind on this rather delicate matter is that you don’t want your child to feel stifled and compelled to perform. If you’re familiar with the concept of the “stage mom,” then you surely know what a parent obsessed with achievement looks like. You do not want to be that parent. You want to be a parent that rewards pro-active behavior and appreciates the child’s effort to its just value. A child who will work for four hours on his or her math homework is very likely to develop an understandable adversity to this subject. Avoid the situation in which your child harbors negative feelings by making sure they are aware you understand, support and encourage their effort.
Heredity is Nothing
One of the worst things you can do as a parent who wants to raise a self-sufficient, functional adult, is to tell them they were born a certain way. It doesn’t matter if you tell them that those traits are negative (“You are lazy/messy/stubborn like your dad”) or positive (“You were born with a good ear for music.”) A child who is told they were born a certain way will eventually come to take those traits for granted and not do anything about them. They will stop attempting to compensate for any shortcomings in personality and they will no longer work at honing a certain set of skills.
Don’t Buy into the Bogus
If you’re inclined to take a slightly more esoteric approach to life, do not apply the same principles to your child. It doesn’t matter if they’re a Capricorn, Scorpio, Sagittarius or whatever else. Fortune tellers don’t work. If you choose to use such methods, make sure you use them as good, clean fun. You should never tell your child that they were born a certain way (stubborn, messy, lazy) and that there is nothing they can do about it. Horoscopes are lots of fun for adults, but they are not necessarily appropriate tools for self-exploration for children. Sure, they can learn the names of the signs. A balanced approach, with both the positives and negatives of all signs, will also work. What you need to do, though, is to encourage open communication and conversations instead.
The article was provided and written by Paul Estcott. Paul also owns and operates the site http://www.horoscopes.org.uk/
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