What to Do with Children Not Listening

September 16th, 2009by admin


Child not listening

Many parents have issues concerning children not listening. It can be very frustrating and also overwhelming at times, but there are some great ways to help resolve the problem. Avoid yelling as being louder isn’t going to get your child to listen to you any better. Instead, you need to take a more reasonable approach.

First, you need to take the age of the child into consideration. Does your child understand what you are saying to him? Is the child old enough to be able to follow your instructions? Does he need a gentle reminder or is he simply acting out intentionally? It is important that you don’t have unrealistic expectations for him.

The truth is that most children have a very short attention span. They can also tune out things they don’t want to hear. If your approach with your children is one where they feel backed into a corner they are going to be less likely to listen to you. Treat them with respect when you do talk to them, and you will find they are more willing to pay attention.
By the same token, make sure your children have your undivided attention when they want to talk to you. Too often as parents we don’t really listen to them, but they do learn by example. So we can’t expect them to listen to us well if we don’t show them how to do so.

You may have to adapt your skills for communicating with each child differently as well. This is because what they are receptive to will vary based upon their age and personality. Instead of being discouraged by their listening skills continue to work at it until you are both on the same page.

What you may not realize is that children love it when they please their parents. Instead of just punishing them, you want to praise them often. When your children do listen to you thank them for it. Let them know that you appreciate them listening to what you asked of them. When you do so, your problems with children not listening will be greatly reduced.

You also need to be consistent. Children will quickly pick up on the fact that actions have consequences. So when they do something positive there will be positive consequences and when they don’t there will be negative consequences. They should know what those consequences will be as well.

There are ways to ensure that miscommunication doesn’t happen too. For example, I have my son tell me in his own words what he has heard. That way I can clarify any difference of what he heard and the message I wanted to send to him. You also want to have clear reprimands that will occur when a child doesn’t listen. Consistency is going to help you to resolve such problems should they continue to arise with children not listening.

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5 Responsesto “What to Do with Children Not Listening”

  1. Henriettaon November 25, 20107:08 am

    Hi, I am a parent coach and have worked with children as a teacher for over thirty years. SI agree with this article. Children start with a short concentration span and learn to concentrate and listen through training.

    You can train children to listen by reducing the amount of background noise. Then gaining their attention by holding their hands, facing them and saying, ‘I want you to listen.’

    Children need training and most children can be taught to listen attentively.
    Henrietta´s last blog post ..Parenting Discipline When Does Spoiling A Child Start step parenting

  2. Bulkon February 25, 201111:27 am

    Great Advice. Based on experience, makign your voice louder definitely does not work. You’ve got to make sure they are actually listening to you first before you reprimand them or else you’re gonna have to repeat yourself.

  3. James Andersonon March 24, 20114:22 am

    This was really helpful. I have a 2 year old with the attention span of a clown. I’ll definately drown out that back ground noise.
    James Anderson´s last blog post ..toddler beds

  4. Rikk Tafton March 24, 20119:58 am

    I would agree that consistence is one of the most important things you can do. I’m a divorced dad and I have 2 beautiful daughters. I never have a problem with there behavior. “NO I don’t rule with an iron fist either” I do show them love all them time. My ex has avery hard time with them as they have no respect for her. she has never been consistent and now can’t understand why she just can’t have what I have with them. Great post. I like the idea of holding their hands and looking them in the eyes. I usually hold the shoulders but. I like the hands better and I will start doing that

  5. mariaon May 7, 20118:22 pm

    i would like to find a solution for my 3 years old boy he dasen’t want to liseni to what we say and also it is very dificult for us because we have 2 little girls that ae 2 years old i fill that what we are doing it is not going any were because i personaly the mother tray to talk to him but my husbend just screams i fill very tyred by the and of the day that i fill i want to just live because my husbend and my son dont jet a long they just yeal at each other i fill tyerd…thx i just would like some support.

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