Can You Spoil a Baby?

July 8th, 2009by admin


Can You Spoil a Baby?

Have you ever wondered whether you can spoil a baby? It’s a common concern among parents, especially the newbies.

Of course, the answer is “it depends.”  It’s not quite so black and white because it wholly depends on what you mean by “spoil” in the first place.  If you mean that the baby will grow up to be demanding and expecting things to come automatically without working for them, that’s highly unlikely just by taking exquisite care of him or her in the first formative years.

After all, your baby’s life is fragile and depends critically on your care, so never confuse your love for spoiling your child.  Think about it.  It’s the children who don’t feel loved from an early age who later wind up on couches in therapists’ offices countrywide pouring out unresolved pain with their parents!

But if you didn’t mean “spoiled” that way, maybe you meant your baby might grow up well-meaning and good-natured but ill-equipped to fend for herself.  If so, you are again worried prematurely.  Good parenting is all about pacing and progression, and you will have plenty of opportunities to teach your child self-reliance as the months and years wear on.  Meanwhile keep giving your bundle of joy as much love as you can to build a strong foundation for emotional well-being later, which itself is the perfect platform for success of all sorts in one’s adult years.

Does that cover your concerns? If you’re still shaking your head “No,” don’t worry.  You are in good company because nearly everyone will have at least a slightly different definition for what “spoiled” means to them, so the best thing you can do is to take a few minutes to reflect on its meaning for you.  And write it down while you’re at it, because it’s likely to have several facets to it.  Words are rich with meaning based on our years upon years of using them.

Another great exercise to work through your fear of spoiling your child is to ask yourself, “What am I really afraid of?”  Think of the first answer that comes to mind and write it down.  Then ask yourself, “Why?”  Write your answer to that.  Keep asking “Why?” until you feel that you’ve reached the core of your fear.  After that, just sleep on it and you are almost sure to wake up with breakthrough insights to dissolve your fear for good.

Freeing up that fear energy is exactly what you need to fully open your heart to loving your baby. And once you witness the miracles of your love on your little one’s life, you’ll never wonder again if you can spoil a baby.

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